So, be confident and show him what you got! His sexual past might have been good but they won't compare to how his experience will be with you. My ex-girlfriend was experienced, understood my body language and was open to different stuff sexually, she writes over Reddit DM. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays. Another redditor found out that his partner had been posting publicly on a womans homemaking forum about an Italian guy with the thickest penis she [had] ever been with (it gave her jello legs). If you want your boyfriend to be a better lover, then youre going to need to tell him and show him exactly what that means. I wont allow it,she did nothing wrong case closed.Im going to hold onto her Forever.Its just some of these people will be in our wedding and to think they know how I have been outdone in the bedroom department makes me feel uneasy at times but they are good people and they have been very good friends to her so I know I can deal with it. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I just simply asked her if it was true if he really was better than me. It fucked me up bad, he wrote, in a post that ended up Six months after escaping a toxic and tempestuous three-year relationship, 28-year-old Claras life had finally started to settle down. male Simply click here to chat. Posts are moderated for respect, equanimity, grace, and relevance. Hello everyone,sorry for the long post,this is the first time asking a question, although I have been reading many posts here trying to come to terms with something that happened to me recently.I have just recently come back from Europe where I asked my FI to marry me. And this bride was horrified after her mum confessed to being in love with her fiance. ), Winter believes its ultimately for the best. Not only has he told you, the ex is better in bed, he has also told friends and relatives. And it felt amazing., Maria, 31, from L.A., also struggles with ex nostalgia. Hes clumsy, sure, but hes also my best friend, so Im happy to make the compromise.. I started directing her in bed, and when she did something I liked, Id moan and give her signals that shes doing a good job.. Okay, remember how we agreed to leave any embarrassment at the bedroom door? A third overheard his fiance gush longingly about her ex-boyfriend, calling him a comparatively better lover. After all, as per the New York Post, guys who rock your room dont make great grooms. Likewise, in the movie Trainwreck, the best-sex-of-your-life-guy is the creepy guy. They might just assume that your body works in the same way. View related questions: I recently asked what about my body and he basically said that from a objective point of view her (his ex) body is better than mine but he's still more physically attracted to me and has enjoyed sex a lot more. After all, none of us know what were doing when we first start having sex. He was well-dressed, spiritually-attuned and financially stable. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. As everyone does at some point, shes feeling that she does have a tendency to struggle with insecurity. So theres definitely some chemistry between you everything else in your relationship seems to be going well, and you know theres potential there. Should I just walk away? The more comfortable you become in your relationship and the better you understand what goes on in their mind, the more deeply youll connect on a sexual level. Should you give up? Especially doing it publicly, that's totally inexcusable. I'm sorry to you that he would even say anything. Light some candles and get the massage oils out. The good thing is though, it didn't sound like your fianc was sharing what he shared with the intention of wanting to create problems or make you worry. Youd get the ick. Man stabbed ex-girlfriend to death at Kings Mountain store, police say, (Source: Kings Mountain Police Department), Dad dies in house fire while trying to save family dogs, firefighters say, Woman accused of stabbing boyfriend for urinating in their bed after a night of drinking, Volunteer Fire Companies and Rescue Squads face ongoing struggles, Elkton rehires Greg Lunsford as Town Manager, Harrisonburg Planning Commission approves Bluestone Town Center with exceptions, Charlie Obaugh RV & Outdoor Student Athlete of the Week. heartbroken, his ex, insecure, self esteem. Make it a really enjoyable experience! Her boyfriend has had serious relationships before her, so she thinks that perhaps shes struggling with insecurity since this is her first real relationship in contrast. It's crass. DEAR DEIDRE:MY husband asked me an unexpected question six months ago which has caused an argument. One of her friends asked how I compared to and old lover of hers, specifically a friend of hers that she still works with.In no uncertein terms she said that her ex( the coworker) was better than me in bed only because he had a much larger penis( I am average in every sense of the word in that department)but that that she thought I was terrfic in bed and wouldnt change anything except for maybe that one thing(my penis). reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): A If you have to schedule it because of work or other commitments, do it. female No one wants to feel inadequate, and even if youre the most grounded person in the world, that pain is still going to sting. Dont expect him to magically know what you want by telepathy. For other inquiries, Contact Us. I did not know that my husband would include himself in the ranking. Don't ask a question when you're not ready for the honest answer. Sorry if it sounds harsh but at least he's honest with you. At the end of the day, he's with you and you're perfect for him while his ex-cheated on him so I think you're still better off. I'd say this issue needs couples counseling, as it's better to have a mediator at this point. Starting to suspect men built this preoccupation around creepy food delivery guy keeps calling me. Just sayin'. If no, then you might want to consider another direction for you life. Still not sure what to do about your boyfriends lacking bedroom performances? female The first thing you need to do is get over any embarrassment you may have surrounding sex and your sexual desires. Do not worry too much about your partner's past. GOT a story? To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. You are being WAY too nice." But if discussing your wants and needs with a sexual partner makes you blush, you need to make a conscious effort to put that to one side. Particularly if he's posting it to public forums like Facebook. female ! she says. Its treacherous terrain. If you feel awkward about being physical with your partner or expressing your sexuality in any way, that will hinder the likelihood of you enjoying sex with your partner more than your 'lack of experience' will. It is inconsiderate even i it is the truth. Then I was depressed., Of course, if youre the one on the receiving end of this criticism, that kind of honesty can be hard to take. Some people, like Clara, just think the best thing to do is ignore it. She insists it is over and that she has no feelings for him. Ive given up on trying to make [my boyfriend] better, and Ive accepted that were just not sexually compatible, she says. You may provide stability and emotional security. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. She Overheard Her Boyfriend Telling His Best Friend That His Ex Was Better In Bed Than She Is, His Girlfriend Dumped Him So She Could Have An Arranged Marriage But Now That Her Wedding Is Happening Next Week She Expects Him To Show Up To Stop It, Her Fianc Is Going Skiing In Another Country With His Family Just Before Their Wedding And He Doesnt Care That Shes Staying Home, This Young Man Claims That As A Kid, He And His Family Actually Saw The Real Santa Claus Flying Through The Sky, She Went To High School With Taylor Swift And She Says That Nobody Really Liked Taylor Back Then, This Waitress Says She Made Over $400 In Tips One Day While She Was Pregnant, This Family Says The Live-In Nurse That They Hired Always Left The House To Go On Walks, But It Turns Out She Was Stalking A Guy. male If he was talking in private to a friend or a sibling, I'd say it's personal and not the biggest deal. Thats not something you should hold against him, necessarily. Additionally, her boyfriend is far more experienced, and she is more reserved and awkward when it comes to social situations. Seems like a red flag if I ever saw one. Because he might not have had all that much actual sex if hes never had long-term relationships that meant he was having sex with the same person regularly. Another added: "She had absolutely no reason to say that, or bring up sex with her ex at all. Calling out ex's name in bed. Copyright A Conscious Rethink. Dominique Sisley is a London-based journalist who writes a lot about sex, relationships, and how strange humans are. Also I dont believe emotion trumps physical. Researchers have found that jealousy negatively impacts relationship happiness and contributes to more frequent conflicts (Martinez-Leon, N. et al. They may have been emotionally manipulative, closed off, or many other things that made them not a good fit. I have repeatedly told him that I did not enjoy sex more with any of my exes so I told him to be more intimate with me, but nothing works. (throw out the whole girl, would rather die, etc. I know I'm not the same (sexually) in regards to my lower half. Yes, absolutely you are right to be hurt. According to author and relationship expert, , its only natural to start thinking of them as a benchmark. You're trying to get sober and he is sabotaging that. I have zero experience when it comes to sex (as I am waiting for marriage). FABULOUS BINGO: GET A 5 FREE BONUS WITH NO DEPOSIT REQUIRED. Long-term relationships involving consistent sex with one person whom we feel comfortable with can teach us a lot about respecting another persons wants and needs and help us put our finger on exactly what turns us on. I told my boyfriend my ex is much better in bed hes upset but hes got to learn some way Lydia Hawken Published: 15:08, 13 Nov 2021 Updated: 15:30, 13 Nov A lot of these come from open forum sites like. I dont care how many men she has been with. a bore in bed? Sex is complicated. Again, we absolutely understand why you are feeling worried about your own experience with it later on because you feel that your lack of experience will mean that sex will not be as great. Plus this woman blasted her bridezilla sister who didnt invite her disabled husband to her wedding she didnt want wheelchair to ruin the photos. The weighted average of your qualities should offset any lingering insecurities., Its a theory that might not work for everyone, but Clara seems content with it. For other inquiries, Contact Us. It is incredibly disrespectful and a complete mistrust. Like most things, we get better at something when we have clear instructions how to do it! reader, So_Very_Confused+, writes (31 October 2012): A Will I know if I'll be as good or even better than his ex girlfriend was?" Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! The point is YOU'RE HURT, because this is hurtful. But, what you must understand is that sex does not in any way, shape or form rely on a person's experience with it. Its easy for life to get in the way and for sexual and emotional quality time with your partner to go out of the window, especially once youve been together for a while or youve moved in together. Make it sexy! WebA husband of a few months or years probably doesnt have the same amount of time invested in that exploration yet. If you can't be with someone supportive and loving who treats you well then it's probably better to be alone for a while rather than with someone who tears you down. I asked him about it finally tonight because But you dont just have to sit back and hope the situation will sort itself out in time. There's no "right" to be hurt. The Sun website is regulated by the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO), Our journalists strive for accuracy but on occasion we make mistakes. Add your answer to this question! The next morning over breakfast she brought up what she said and apologized for it. WebMy boyfriend says he loved his ex more than he loves me. The first time we had sex felt like a really bad cup of coffee, she says. This was a big gamble of course since she could have said no.lolShe said yes to my delight.I dont think i ever saw her so happy in the year and half we have been dating.We all celebrated in a local tavern, I had a little too much to drink(courtesy of her brother and father) I felt a bit sick and excused myself in a hurry beacause I was not about to become sick amongst my future in laws. Sure, his hands were a little small, but that didnt distract from their paranormal connection: He made her belly-laugh, and the pair could spend hours getting lost in conversation. If yes, then I would read him the riot act, tell him it had better not happen again, and let it go. ', "And she was kinda dismissive and just said 'yeah.'". Then I was humiliated. Were always going to have that one perfect tango partner, she explains. Can you handle knowing that you may never compare to a mysterious, faceless former lover? I know the chances of me being the best lover she's ever had were maybe fifty percent at best just for the reason she is so incredibly attractive, she could have her pick of men , so the idea that I was better than all of them was wishful thinking at best. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. Demonstrate how sexy you find him by making the first move and coming on strong to him. Best sex I have ever had and haven't had anything like it since" We have been married for almost 4 years. female Tell him what you want. I took a glance at your posting history and really think that this guy is bad for you. They say there was an argument between the victim and the suspect, and moments later, the stabbing happened. Even if they did have better sexual chemistry with you than your current partner, theyre, an ex, and probably for a good reason. Have some confidence in yourself and the fact that your sex life together will be a wonderful one simply because it will be. He was tall, with twinkling golden eyes and broad shoulders. A lot of these come from open forum sites like Quora or Reddit, with people of all genders loudly asking for advice about their lackluster love lives. The issue could be that he just doesnt really care about your pleasure. My ex told me that making me orgasm was too difficult. So, hes a product of his environment, yes. Take a bath in liquid Viagra? Copyright 2023 WBTV. They all laughed at this which in turn made me feel sick to my stomach.Ufortuatley I had to urinate at this poit and got up to use the restroom. For other inquiries Contact Us. Other than this one transgression, is he a good husband? But if you think a relationship could evolve between you or youre having sex with a boyfriend, then faking pleasure is the best way to shoot yourself in the foot. reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): A Now, that doesnt mean hes necessarily the devil itself. She stayed quiet and said yes that it was true. I'm embarrased to even elaborate but I know I had great feedback before. Other times, it slips out indirectly. Why would he awful. reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): A Sex is never a fixed thing. He said: Out of everyone youve had sex with, who was the best?. Words have their limits. There are plenty of articles on the topic, too, which all offer consolatory platitudes about how best to handle terminal sexual chemistry. This service is provided on News Group Newspapers' Limited's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy. reader, So_Very_Confused+, writes (26 December 2012): A Hak Cipta Dilindungi Undang-undang. To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. She spends her free time hiking, exploring, eating vegan tapas and volunteering for a local dog shelter. If you want (and only if you want) you can ask what it is that he misses or wants more of during sex. You are being WAY too nice. My boyfriend and his ex dated for four years, and though he has told me numerous times that they both knew it wasn't working, she was the one to ultimately end it, and he says that it's simply because he 'didn't want to be the one to give up on something he invested so much time into.' Login first Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out. I assumed he just meant out of my exes. There are plenty of dejected discussions on Reddit of people who have been told theyre disappointing in bed or , . Sometimes, this news is broken bluntly and without fear (one redditor.
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