When a person is acting defensive, they're trying to protect or justify themselves. On the other hand, you may wish to know how to stop making other people react in a defensive way. In the study, university students were primed by reading one of two specific passages written in the style of a news article: one said that intelligence was inherited and fixed from a young age, while the other said that intelligence could be increased substantially over the life span. Instead, show empathy and concern for the situation that the other person is experiencing. Opposite offensive protective, watchful synonyms for defensive Compare Synonyms opposing averting conservative foiling forestalling preservative preventive thwarting arresting balking checking coping with defending frustrating guarding in opposition interrupting protecting resistive safeguarding uptight For example, if you were asked to do something and did not do it, you could respond by saying, Youre right, I should have done that. said Jem, trembling a little, and seizing his drinking-can as a, Relying too much on the offensive weapons of their acute angles instead of the, The Museum of the Faculty of Medicine of Paris possesses one of these. Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn. To save this word, you'll need to log in. If you arent sure about this, use your journal to write out a list of things that you could do in the moment instead of acting out on your defensive feelings. How to communicate your feelings, emotions, and needs. From our flagship defensive driving classroom programs to our award-winning online courses, weve already trained more than cautious. Learn more about defensive behavior, and get advice on how to approach and resolve conflict with a defensive person. Hear a word and type it out. Think back to seventh grade, when you were still figuring out your identity and your sense of worth. Tell the other person that they should not feel the way that they do. If you are trying to control the other person, this is likely to lead to a defensive reaction. Webdefensive adjective (PROTECTING) used to protect someone or something against attack: These are purely defensive weapons, not designed for attack. These methods might make us feel better, but they channel our energy into defensiveness rather than moving forward. Explainers as an indicator of defensive attitude to experienced anxiety in young women differing in their styles of coping with threatening stimuli. Nglish: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Arabic Speakers. She received her master's degree in counseling from Oregon State University and has practiced psychotherapy since 1981. You and everyone around you will benefit as a result of taking this action. Defensiveness is a learned behavior, meaning that it can also be unlearned. This type of reaction to a problem may be easy to spot. David Susman, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist with experience providing treatment to individuals with mental illness and substance use concerns. Add defensive to one of your lists below, or create a new one. At the heart of our vulnerability lies the feeling that we've been hurt by someone we love. Using the word opinion. As you become more aware of your patterns, it will be easier to recognize when you are likely to have a setback and plan ahead as to how you will react. Accuse the other person of doing the same thing. Subscribe to America's largest dictionary and get thousands more definitions and advanced searchad free! Advertisement 2. Try to remain uncompetitive when approaching someone on the defense. Once you have started to notice when you become defensive, its important to start validating your feelings when you are criticized. Remember the enduring connection from that first stage of love, and try to access the feelings that first made you predisposed toward generosity and understanding at the outset of your relationship. Conflict management: Difficult conversations with difficult people. 2. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. It's important that you learn to work through defensive behavior in a relationship because if we don't learn how to deal with our grievances head-on, inevitably we deal with them indirectly. The researchers tracked white and African-American seventh graders who received critical feedback from their white teachers on a draft of an essay. Perhaps its around a certain person or in a certain situation. How can I make this situation better?" a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. wary. . b. 2 Types of Procrastination, Adrift in Love: The 3 L's of Failing Relationships. Since you cant always avoid conflict, it may be beneficial to consider these tips and tricks for communicating effectively, especially with someone defensive. You could say, Go on or Oh? Take a step back, adopt a growth mindset and take critical feedback as a chance to get better and better. And we're rewarded because each thing they say and do activates the connection center of our brain. Instead, try to pay attention in the moment to how you are feeling and how you react to others. WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. The answer: make it through that moment by waiting to react. 0 && stateHdr.searchDesk ? But if the feedback is meant to help you or is neutral and objectivelike scoring in the 37th percentilerather than channeling your energy into soothing yourself, youll fare better if you channel your energy into improving yourself. Just let the adrenaline surge crest and gather your thoughts. Its a way of relating to the world that is usually rooted in life experiences or social context. How Can I Improve Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? Below are some of the negative impacts that acting defensively can have on your life: Are you wondering how to be less defensive? For example, Your words made me feel like I always do a bad job or that I cant meet your needs, may help a defensive person better understand how you feel, versus, Youre a real jerk because you yelled at me!. Remembering our firmest beliefs and passions can make us feel less defensive. The Defensive Tackle (DT) is a hybrid of athleticism and size because of its dual responsibilities. When each letter can be seen but not heard. sive di-fen (t)-siv d-fen (t)- 1 : serving or intended to defend or protect a defensive alliance 2 : resisting or preventing attack defensive behavior Here's what EQ is, its components, and how to improve it. Then all the participants were given just four minutes to read a long and confusing passage from Freuds classic The Interpretation of Dreams, which, with its late 1800s language and esoteric ideas, was about as easy to get through as a line at the DMV on your lunch hour. If you want to further reduce the risk of the other person being defensive, add something to the end of your request such as, It would be a great help to me, or I would really appreciate the help.. To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn't warrant it. Opposite. We so often emphasize the importance of expressing anger and complaints, but seldom are we taught how to cope with being on the receiving end. No one is better prepared to provide that training than the National Safety Council. Both praise and critical feedback can be confusing for kids of colorhow can they be sure criticism is justified or just driven by bias? Weba. Webadjective attempting to justify or defend in speech or writing synonyms: justificative, justificatory apologetic, excusatory offering or expressing apology adjective intended or appropriate for defending against or deterring aggression or attack defensive weapons a defensive stance Synonyms: antiaircraft Hear a word and type it out. Consider only responding in a competitive or forceful way when there is an emergency, such as when someone is in danger or when there are serious safety concerns. Defensive stocks as a group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a whole. So how does this apply to you? Defensive stocks as a group have a higher Sharpe ratio than the stock market as a whole. For example, your husband forgets to pass along a message, your wife forgets to pick up milk at the store, or your partner says something that inadvertently hurts your feelings. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. How Do Gifted Adolescents See Themselves? Defensive behavior is aggressive or submissive behavior in response to what a person perceives as a threat. Imagine yourself staying calm and collected while you discuss a problem, instead of reacting defensively. To save this word, you'll need to log in. The researchers found that those who had been primed to think intelligence was fixed made themselves feel better by comparing their performance to those who did worse than thema defensive reaction: Well, at least I did better than those morons.. Wignall N. Defensiveness: How it Works and What to Do About It, By Arlin Cuncic Opposite. A study from the Journal of Experimental Psychology delved into this issue. Reviewed by Devon Frye. Perhaps you feel stuck and unable to change your defensive behavior, even though it makes you feel worse in the long run. Or, on the flip side, how do they know if theyre being pandered to by adults who want to prove theyre not racist? We all carry baggage with us from childhooddefensiveness is no different. Defensive. Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/defensive. What. While defensive behaviors might help you to feel better in the short term, in the long term they generally result in you feeling worse. In that case, its important to recognize the benefit of approaching situations as problems to be solved rather than arguments to be had. Remember, when it comes time to protest, be sure your complaint is stated considerately enough not to punish or shame your loved one. https://www.thefreedictionary.com/defensive. Getting defensive in response to disruptions like these in your relationship is natural. wary. Teams using DTs generally have two on the field at a time. Alternatively, dont be afraid to stay momentarily silent. It gives your partner the benefit of the doubt, allowing, in the best of circumstances, for them to repair the situation with a simple, "I'm sorry. Consider and weigh all viewpoints and try to reach a resolution to the problem together. Remain calm even if you feel like becoming defensive in return (as this won't solve anything). Do you stand with arms crossed, stand a little taller? Defensive behaviors have the purpose of distracting you from your feelings of being hurt and feeling shamed. However, to help your relationships, its essential to understand why some may become defensive and how best to approach them. We view their actions, intentions, and language through the lens of our positive vision. Experiment with viewing the situation from different vantage points. WebNSC Defensive Driving Courses. Intended to withstand or deter aggression or attack: a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. Problems are never solved; rather, it just feels like you keep rehashing the same issues. Defensive stocks are stocks that generate relatively stable performances regardless of the market cycle. Overton A, et al. Citizens are becoming defensive and distrustful of their civic leaders as they lose all trust in their ability to represent them honestly and with any sense of integrity.. They have a defensive attitude as they try to protect themselves. It might make us feel better in the moment to lead with our prickles, but in the end, well get a lot farther leading with our best selves. Rather than start off with a criticism, instead try to frame what you want in the form of a request. Learn a new word every day. cautious. This information should not be considered complete, up to date, and is not intended to be used in place of a visit, consultation, or advice of a legal, medical, or any other professional. Intended to withstand or deter aggression or attack: a defensive weapons system; defensive behavior. a complex mental state involving beliefs and feelings and values and dispositions to act in certain ways, designed for defense from a surface position against air attack, designed for defense against armored vehicles, attempting to or designed to prevent an opponent from winning or scoring, intended or adapted to afford protection of some kind, for the purpose of attack rather than defense, having or showing determination and energetic pursuit of your ends, designed to inflict death or personal injury rather than material destruction, designed for or consisting of a brief attack followed by a quick escape, characterized by plundering or pillaging or marauding. Feeling caught off guard or surprised by someone can make it more likely that you will react defensively. Some of us avoid. The best thing that you can do is to make a list of the situations that are more likely to cause you to become defensive. Conflict happens frequently in personal relationships, at work, and even in public. Webdefensive See definition of defensive on Dictionary.com adj. b. Thats why driver safety training is so important. You end up feeling like an outcast and that you dont fit in with anyone no matter where you go. sive di-fen (t)-siv d-fen (t)- 1 : serving or intended to defend or protect a defensive alliance 2 : resisting or preventing attack defensive behavior Nglish: Translation of defensive for Spanish Speakers, Britannica English: Translation of defensive for Arabic Speakers. What do you call a defensive person? The cost to our intimate relationships when we aren't willing to protest (whether out of fear, self-doubt, an impulse to people-please, and so on) is that we literally make it impossible for the issues in the relationship to heal. Lets take a look at some of the common signs that you might be acting in a defensive way.. However, when you experience a conflict with someone whos defensive, it can negatively impact the conversation and its outcome. For example, is there a more significant issue youre not seeing? Webdefensive See definition of defensive on Dictionary.com adj. Instead, acknowledge the feelings so that you do not become hyper focused on them.